Peerzada Arshad Hamid
Srinagar
Caught in the twilight of conflict, women are the worst kind of sufferers in the ongoing insurgency in Kashmir . Because, of their deeper attachment with their families, womenfolk silently continue to bear the burnt of violence directly as well as indirectly.
While some mourn the killings of their dear ones, others yearn for the glimpse of those who got disappeared in the haze of turmoil. With some harping the bruises that were inflicted on their souls by brutal force like rape, molestation etc., others found themselves at the brink of psychological wreck.
Living with their painful memories, many such women now toil hard to make ends of their family meet. There are instances where they were forced to assume the headship, only to carry on with the burden of their families, mostly comprising of orphans.
One such woman is Tahira Begum, a half-widow. The term half-widow was coined by media in Kashmir during mid- 1990's, when a lot of men got disappeared under mysterious circumstances. A half widow is a woman, whereabouts of whose husband are unknown.
For Tahira sufferings and misery are something, she was destined to. Braving all odds, she has come all the way pursuing her cause to search her husband, besides upbringing her three little sons.
Hailing from a village in district Baramullah of north Kashmir, Tahira dreams of seeing her sons receive good education and schooling. All alone in her fight, she feels neglected at the hands of in-laws and close relatives. She had to leave her house to stay put in down town locality of Srinagar city, in a rented house.
"My parents have already died. In-laws never came forward for the support after my husband's disappearance. I was all alone and picked up a job of peon in a school. Since I had to do the petty job, my son complained that he gets taunts from his classmates on this. Also I had to visit Srinagar to pursue my husband's case and most of the time I was not having the money for bus fare. Later on I made my mind to settle temporarily in Srinagar," recalls Tahira.
Tahira's misery started in December 2002, when her husband Tariq Ahmad Rather left home for New Delhi in connection with some work. Since then his whereabouts are unknown. According to Tahira, Tariq was a contractor with a private electrical company working at Uri town of Baramullah.
At the time of leaving for New Delhi , Tariq promised Tahira that he will talk to her over telephone, the moment, he reaches there. However, until today she never took any such call. Perturbed Tahira approaches her in-laws to seek their help in searching her husband. The family lodged FIR with the local police station. But so far there is no news about Tariq being - alive or dead.
Tahira left no stone unturned looking for her husband: selling off her jewellery and clothes hoping to find him. Earlier family used to get information about Tariq's confinement in some goals across the state, however, such information turned out to be false every time.
"When he didn't called up and didn't turned back to home for about week, I got suspicious and started searching for him," said Tahira adjusting thread in sewing machine and ready to sew up an old frock .
Police investigations too failed to throw light on the sudden disappearance and Tahira got her husband's name entered in the list of disappeared persons with the Association of Parents of Disappeared Persons (APDP) in Srinagar.
APDP came into being in 1994 after the parents of disappeared persons decided to pursue the cause of seeking whereabouts of the missing one's jointly. The association puts the number of disappeared around 10,000 in the entire state. However, from the government side figures have always been conflicting. Of late members of APDP have started a unique style to press for their long pending demands. The parents assemble on 10th of every month for silent protest in the public parks carrying photographs and wearing head bands having names of missing written on them to attract the attention of government and media.
Tahira like many others is a regular at such silent protests. For earning livelihood for herself and children, she works at Aasiya memorial foundation (AMF). She makes ladies suits, does embroidery work and knitting.
The foundation has been established by coalition of civil society in the memory of their colleague and freelance journalist Aasiya Jeelani. Jeelani got killed on April 20, 2004 during a landmine explosion while on her assignment to monitor the elections in north Kashmir.
Last month International Campaign to Ban Landmines (ICBL) in partnership with Srinagar based civil rights group, Jammu and Kashmir Coalition of Civil Society (JKCCS) convinced United Jehad Council, an amalgam major guerilla groups fighting in Kashmir to announced a ban on antipersonnel mines in the region. The group now encourage both India and Pakistan to consider a moratorium on new mine use and to launch comprehensive mine clearance programs.
AMF supports many other half widows and poor women like her by first making them learn the needle work and then providing them with avenues. The women do embroidery work on wall hangings, curtains, bags, shirts, frocks and bed covers besides knitting sweaters. The foundation sometimes organise an exhibition and keep the items available on stall for sale. Usually it has ties with the shopkeepers and some orphanages.
"Some shopkeepers and orphanages are our regular customers. Apart from that we do private work or sometime sell our products on stalls," said Tahira.
Tahira gets a salary of Rs 1500 from the foundation for her services and with it she manages to run her family. Her two elder sons are admitted in an orphanage in Srinagar and read in 10th standard and 6th standard respectively. The younger son reads in 3 rd standard is with her. On weekends she brings them home and the family meets for the Sunday.
Tahira often avoids quizzing from her sons about their father. It is because of the apathetic approach by her in-laws that she had to come to Srinagar. Although she tried to settle in her village by taking a job of peon in a privately run school but she had to quit the job following queries from his son.
Tahira has been declared a patient of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and relies on medicines to avoid panic and depression. For the last three years she has been taking the prescribed medicine. The only thing that aggravates her problem is question shrouding her husband's disappearance.
"He was neither a militant nor a police informer. I fail to understand who picked him up? I often see his images and sometimes get depressed that I lost consciousness," she said.
In Kashmir , stress related disorders long ago reached alarming heights. In 1987, only 775 patients visited the government's psychiatric hospital in Srinagar for psychiatric treatment. After 1989, that number increased dramatically. More than 65,000 have sought treatment through last December – more than 4060 per year.
Acknowledging the effective role of women and to involve them in the on going peace process between India and Pakistan, for the first time a three day Intra Kashmir women's conference 'Connecting women across LoC' took place in Srinagar last month, seeking harmony in their voices.
The conference provided an opportunity for the women activists on the both sides of dividing line working at grass-root level to share their stories and grief, and to reach out a consensus on the issues aimed at resolving the Kashmir conflict. In the conference the participants urged upon political groups and activists to strive for a peaceful resolution of the Kashmir issue and came up with a detailed consensus statement, copies of which are likely to be forwarded to both the governments at New Delhi and Islamabad .
Unaware of the intra Kashmir conference, Tahira believes that peace does not have any meaning to her or any other women like her unless and until government comes up with the details pertaining to disappeared persons.
The conference was organised by Centre for Duologue and Reconciliation (CDR), New Delhi , in collaboration with the Women Studies Centre at University of Jammu and University of Kashmir, Srinagar . CDR is involved in holding intra-regional and intra Kashmir dialogues to build up an opinion at ground level aimed at resolving the Kashmir dispute peacefully between India and Pakistan.
In the conference the issue of enforced disappearance was highlighted by Parveena Ahanger, a woman who son was subjected to enforced disappearance and who heads APDP. In the conference enforced disappearance was condemned strongly.
Tahira is broken but at the same time she is very much optimistic like any other Kashmiri women. The only thing that keeps her going on is hope. Hope to see her husband returning home and her wishes to see her miseries end.
With process between two countries on and efforts to make it felt on ground, it is to be seen if women like Tahira get any respite.
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